Hi My Name Is ...

What's in a name?  I am finding picking out a name for our future child to be incredibly stressful!  There is so much pressure when you think about the fact that their name means everything.  In many cases it becomes their first impression.  A teacher reads their name prior to seeing their face.  A potential employer will read their name on a resume long before they get called for that first interview.  And you will be saying it everyday for as long as you live so it better be something you love, right?  Before becoming parents was a reality we each had loads of names we just loved.  Well turns out we have great taste because most have either been used by other family members and close friends or become so popular you might as well start using their last initial before leaving the hospital.  Big time bummer.  While we are still searching for those perfect names we have encountered plenty of names we will not be using. 

Let's face it we have all come across a name or names that leave us shaking our heads.
While I could go on for hours I will keep it short and sweet by sticking to my personal favorites :)

I'm going to start with those names that on their own are perfectly acceptable but when paired with your last name, warrant a shame on you.  We experienced this during our name search.  The first boy name we ever agreed upon was Jackson which would be perfect if we always called him Jackson.  But then we combine Jack with our frequently mispronounced last name you get something eerily similar to "jackoff".  Jackson was immediately scrapped and back to the drawing table.  These individuals ... not so lucky.

Gay Cummings - Being that Gay in this instance is female helps a bit but still ... shame on you.
Cherry Knipple - Pronounced 'nipple' ... enough said and shame on you.

Let's move on to those names that I assume parents choose as a direct reflection of their child's future personality.

Princess - Every little girl is some one's princess we got it
Adorabelle - Adorably creative I will give you that
Nemesis - Yes I have the picture to prove it here and this one ought to be considered child abuse

Now to the parents who choose to go with creative pronunciation.  Teachers love these!

La-a - (La dash a)  Yes folks the "-" is for real part of the name.
Lampshade - (Lamp sha day) How silly of you to think someone would be named lampshade
Shadynasty - (Sha dynasty) You saw Shady Nasty didn't you? It's okay to giggle

And hand in hand with creative pronunciation is creative spelling. 
Maycen - Obviously because Mason was already taken
Alyxzandyr - Something against vowels perhaps?

Please don't get me wrong here I do not see anything wrong with wanting your child to have a name that makes them an individual.  Amanda was one of the most popular names the year I was born and eventually I was known by my last initial as well so I appreciate the need to be different.  But I personally don't think your child's name ought to be a showcase for your personal creativity.  Heck if it was up to me we would all get to name ourselves as adults but alas this is not the case.  So for now we are choosing to go over the classics while steering clear of the top ten and revisiting family names from the past.  Wish us luck and stay tuned for the reveal once baby C arrives!

Things that make you go Hmm

One luxury that we do not have is a time lime for our baby to be.  Unlike most parents we don't know how long we have before he/she arrives so it makes planning more difficult.  When do you start asking, answering and addressing the more difficult questions?

Will I work?  How many hours will I work?  What will we do for childcare?  A daycare center or in home daycare?  I mean so many questions!!  Can I just begin by saying there are waiting lists for day cares?!!  I had no idea!  I'm sure the more informed parent population is chuckling at me here but honestly I was clueless.   And as long as we are speaking 'crazy talk' might I also mention some waiting lists are 12 to 15 months?!  If you passed basic math you just mental math'd the fact that you would need to put yourself on the waiting list BEFORE you get pregnant. I have entered an alternate universe where nothing makes sense any longer. 

Will you breastfeed your adopted baby?  Um ... say what?  Apparently I was clueless and uninformed here as well.  It is indeed possible for adoptive mothers to breastfeed.  Now I don't have to tell you about all of the benefits of breastfeeding so naturally I am intrigued.  I know that it was always my plan prior to infertility so the possibility has made me go hmm.  After turning to Google for some guidance here it turns out this too takes planning and commitment prior to baby.  So how to you plan ahead when you have no idea how long it will take to be matched and bring little baby C home?

Since my head is spinning just from writing that! It's time to go say a prayer and put it all in God's hands for now.  Advice is welcome, feel free to leave us a comment!  Night all!

Annivbabymooncation

This weekend we celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary as well as our profile going live to all 3 of the Wisconsin agencies Monday!  EEK big week for us right?  So clearly this requires a celebration.  Since traditional expectant parents are working with a deadline when baby will arrive they can plan their last empty nest vacation (babymoon) to coincide.  We however have no idea how long the match process will take and certainly pray it comes quickly.  So to play it safe we rolled all celebrations into one and went camping!  Yes I am certain that some if not all of you are laughing at the fact that we went camping on our babymoon but we are all practical folks here right?  We are saving for an adoption and as I may have preciously mentioned it's not cheap!  But $12 a night for a campsite sure is :).  No the mattress wasn't memory foam, the floors weren't fancy marble and the closest flushing toilets and showers were a good 3 block walk or so ... but it was remote and relaxing and some really nice together time.  And did I mention we took our labs along too?  While I had hoped to document the adventure better the camera died night one.  HUGE bummer.  We went on a hike to the lake and ran into 3 baby deer, we let the girls swim in lake Michigan and 'jump' the waves, we saw the Nothern lights and took turns beating one another in Rummy while enjoying a few drinks around the campfire.  We even talked about how we would come next year with our baby.  It was all in all a blast and I would do it again in a heartbeat!
Here are a few of the pics I did manage to capture.  Enjoy!

The amazing view from our skylight

Hubby putting the tent up before dark

Bella supervising the tent project

Cassie LOVED camping content to sit by herself and take it all in

The Babymoon Suite (campsite 214)

Smokin hot campfire

Bella is just not a camping dog

 

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend and stay tuned for many exciting adoption and rummage posts to come!

Did you know?

Announcing that you are pregnant or in our case adopting is like opening the flood gates for a lifetime of unsolicited parenting advice, pretty much until the day you die. I mean did you know kids are a lot of work?  Do you know how messy they are?  Are you sure you are prepared for all of the patience they require because they can really test your patience at times.  I'm sorry have you ever had a puppy?  Or better yet two at one time?  Anyone who has survived the puppy years is well prepared for the patience a child requires.  Don't believe me? 
Our first puppy Maio found a raised bump in our kitchen floor while we were sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner.  After a short time we realized he was being awfully quiet.  That's because he was busy chewing a hole in our kitchen floor!!!  While I was less than pleased about the unexpected home repair expense I did end up with a beautiful new kitchen floor so see, it all worked out. 

Our rescue lab Cassie immediately bonded with Don and had intense separation anxiety for quite some time after we brought her home.  She would get so worked up when we put her in her crate to leave for work that we decided to try leaving her out.  She was completely house broken and we did a quick once over to make sure everything was out of reach.  What's the worst that could happen right?

This used to be a feather pillow.  And now it looks like someone killed a bird in my living room. 

Despite having a dog sitter come over and let them out and play with them everyday they still had far too much energy to have free reign over the house.  So back in their crates they went.  I'm not going to lie it has been really nice coming home and not wondering what item will have been eaten or ripped to shreds and Cassie has adjusted really well.  But this just leads to super sneaky stealth mission impossible Labrador puppies when they are on the loose.  Tonight I get home from work and am sitting on the floor playing with Bella when I notice something under the couch that looks strange.  I pull the couch forward and ...

OMG ... is that red ink you ask?  YES THAT IS RED INK!!!  It is red ink that has partially dried under my incredibly heavy reclining sofa while I am home alone.  And in the process of investigating I have managed to spread the wet ink all over the floor and it is drying as we speak! 

Okay don't panic you got this.  I wiped up the wet ink I can reach and was left with this ...

So I over this with a towel and use my Superwoman muscles to flip over the couch and find the source.  I wipe up the trail I left, clean the feet of the couch and then return to this large red seemingly permanent ink stain on my beautiful hardwood floors.  Deep breath and GOOGLE.

Google tells me to try,

Baking soda and a touch of water ... no dice

Toothpaste and a toothbrush ... no dice

Super Strong hold hairspray ... no dice

Google had one more suggestion but at this point I was beginning to resolve myself to the fact that I was the proud owner of a brand new giant red ink stain.

After HOURS of scrubbing and elbow grease ...

I have never in my life seen such a handsome bald man. He is my hero and I am forever grateful. While it was not a complete success as you can see it is a vast improvement.

So what was that you were saying about kids? :)

Rummage-o-Rama

Calling all clutter part 2
It's the weekend and what a better time to clean out your unwanted clutter.  Time to get rid of all those unwanted items that are just taking up space before the snow flies.  Did she just say snow?  Yes folks this is Wisconsin after all. 
We have already been blessed with some pretty amazing donations however we still need more!  I promise this requires little to no effort on your part as we will come and pick up anything you have to donate. 

If you don't have any clutter you know what they say about another man's trash right?  And boy do we have some treasures.  Honestly people we have some really nice items and you won't want to miss it.  Mark your calendars for September 8th and 9th!  More details and a location to come.  We have baby items, housewares, small appliances, furniture, something for everyone! Thank you to everyone who has already donated!!
We need your help to meet our fundraising goal and bring home our little one! 
If you have items to donate please email us and we can schedule a pick up.  Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Ah-ha Moment

Guess what?  This adoption process is in fact not about us.  It's not about fulfilling our desire to become parents.  It's not about healing the pain of infertility.  It's not about our needs at all.  If you are looking at adoption that way then you've got it all wrong.
So what is this journey about you ask?  It's about connecting with expectant parents considering an adoption plan for their unborn child.  It's about forming a connection and nurturing their needs throughout this difficult time.  It's about providing them with all of the options available so they can feel at peace with their final decision. It's about having an open mind, being supportive and accepting and most importantly, not pressuring them into any decision they are not comfortable with.  And lets not forget the most incredible part ... it is about giving their unborn child the most amazing life imaginable.  We want to be that amazing gift to an unborn child.  We want to make that connection and have that lasting relationship with his or her birth parents and their families.  Coming from a blended family with 6 sets of grandparents (yup that's 6 grandmas and 6 grandpas) I know what a blessing a large family can be.  A child can never have too many people loving and wanting only the best for them.  So here's to hoping we find those expectant parents, make that connection, provide one another with the gift of a lifetime and continue to stay connected for as long as they desire.  May the good Lord hear my prayers.

Table of 8

There was a chain email waiting for me in my inbox this morning because I was chosen as one of the 8 women who has touched my coworkers life.  I felt incredibly honored.  While I am not a fan of chain emails I think the message is amazing.  So I had to share ..

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!"

"Today may there be peace within.  May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.  May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.  Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

WI does not stand for winning

I would like to take a moment to share with all of my blog followers why it is so very important for you to keep sharing our blog and getting the word out that we are looking to adopt.  We are currently partnered with an adoption agency here in the state of Wisconsin so you might think "why not let the agency find you a baby?" and that is a pretty legit question.  Well our agency only deals within the state and if you are not familiar with the Wisconsin adoption laws I am about to clue you in.
In the state of Wisconsin the birth mother has 21 to 30 days to change her mind.  Yes you read that right.  So we take the baby home from the hospital with us and will not actually know until the termination of parental rights (TPR) hearing (21 to 30 days later) if the baby will really become our son or daughter.  I could be sitting at home rocking our new baby to sleep on day 20 and our social worker could show up to take the baby back.  Can you imagine?!  I mean we are the only parents that baby knows.  We have been doing the midnight feedings, the changing, the bathing, the snuggling and rocking and bouncing and walking, everything!  We will have fallen in love and our family in our eyes will be complete. If you are wondering how often this actually happens I can tell you it happens enough to make multiple social workers at our agency resign.  As if losing the baby you have already become so attached to is not bad enough there is a 5 day window before TPR where the bulk of our adoption fees are due.  If the birth mother changes her mind in those last 5 days our money is non-refundable.  This means we have no baby and no money to attempt another adoption.  This is TERRIFYING!! 

Not all states have a 30 day waiting period and this is why we need your help.  We need to spread the word from coast to coast and hopefully we can find a match that has a 24 to 72 hour waiting period.  We want so badly to bond with our baby right away and not have that overwhelming fear that someone is going to come take him or her away from us.  I'm not sure I could stand it. 
If you are in the state of Wisconsin please don't feel like we don't need your help in spreading the blog as well.  You never know who you know that might know someone who knows someone and the list goes on. 
Thus far we have been so blessed with the love and support we've received and I cannot thank all of you enough!  As promised back in Crafty for a Cause my car seat canopy creations are finally active on my Etsy page.  Take a look and please keep me in mind for shower, new baby and just because mommy gifts!  All proceeds are helping to fund our adoption.
Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and here's to a great week ahead!  God Bless.

Matthew 18:5

At times the kindness of others can be more than you ever imagined possible and I received kindness overload yesterday.  It was a day of tears from start to finish but make no mistake this time they were happy tears.  The day began with finally getting to the previous days mail.  I should preface this story by elaborating a little more about my recent surgery experience.  I have not been able to stop telling everyone I encounter just how amazing the staff in the day surgery wing of the hospital was.  This was not my first rodeo so I have encountered numerous nurses, doctors and anesthesiologists but none even come close to this bunch.  It all began the day before surgery when I had to be at the hospital for my pre-op testing.  Every nurse I interacted with clearly loved their job and wanted to make sure I was comfortable, I knew where I was going and that I had no anxiety about the events scheduled for the following day.  I bragged about them the moment I left and almost couldn't wait to see how the day of my surgery would compare.  It was even better!! From the moment we arrived they made me comfortable, joked around with me, brought me things I wouldn't even have thought to ask for and more!  My anesthesiologist came and we discussed his plan at length and then he asked if it would be okay to lead a prayer with us before surgery, amazing! The worst part of surgery in my opinion is that moment when you say goodbye to your family and get wheeled down the hall to the freezing cold operating room full of strange faces.  We got in there and they again made jokes about who to blame for the ice cold heart monitor patches and covered me in warm blankets until I was fast asleep. Next thing I knew I was waking up back with my husband and sister and had an army of nurses tending to my every need.  In fact they were a step ahead of me the entire time.  Can I get you this or how about that or even replacing my warm blankets every 20 minutes without me asking.  I felt so comfortable I wanted to take them home with me!  If you don't know me I am the biggest wuss when it comes to shots and I knew all along I would be getting one today.  The plan was to give it to me while I was still out but for some reason my insurance didn't like that idea so they had to wait until right before I was being discharged.  She could tell I was dreading it but when the time came I didn't feel a thing.  Is it possible to request the day surgery nurse give it to me every month now lol?  Anyway back to yesterday morning (you're thinking finally) where I'm reading my mail.  In the mail is this card from all my day surgery nurses.  I am fairly certain I received card from the other hospital last time but this one wasn't just signed or noted with "hope you're feeling better".  Each nurse wrote a personal paragraph pertaining to our interactions that day and I was touched to say the least.  I teared up almost immediately and while I'm not denying that Lupron is likely partially to blame I still felt really special in that moment because these strangers cared.  (Lupron update: still crying at the Olympics, old GH episodes and inconsolable during ASPCA commercials and episodes of I'm having their baby)
About the time I'd recovered from that teary spell I decided to log into my Etsy account for some more wish listing for future baby C.  During the hours I have spent looking at all of the Zoology coordinating nursery accessories I fell in love with a bedding design that was a bit more complicated than my basic sewing skills would accommodate.  I wasn't even searching for bedding I was looking for wall art and there it was.  So I sent an inquiry to a woman offering custom bedding in the zoology fabric pallet.  I explained what I was looking for and that I was curious if she could recreate the picture and what she would charge.  She responded almost immediately stating she could absolutely make the set quoting me what I considered a fair price for the work.  I explained that we were adopting and that I wasn't quite ready to place the order right now.  I gave her the link to our blog and told her we would love for her to follow our journey and share it with friends/family/etc.  The email response I got this particular morning had me in tears again.  She thanked me for sharing the blog and told me how much she had enjoyed reading it.  Infertility had touched her life too through friends and family and she sympathized with what we were going through.  As if I wasn't touched already that she had taken the time to email this to me the next part was more than I was prepared for.  She wants to offer us the exact bedding set of my dreams at a discounted rate because she knows adoption is expensive and that every little bit saved helps.  She doesn't even know us and yet she wants to help make our dreams come true.  How can I thank her enough?  I want to start by giving her the recognition she deserves.  Please check out her Etsy shop, Nursery Dreams.  The items are out of this world adorable and I know many of my readers are new mothers and/or expectant mothers.  It is people like her that help to keep me believing in the good in people.
This brings me to my final teary eyed but also exciting moment. Clearly it was a BIG day :)
I also happen to have a few adoption themed products in my Etsy favorites and while scrolling down to see the shipping cost on this particular item I came across a description that explained these were being sold as a way to help fund their adoption and if you wanted to follow along please check out their blog.  YES PLEASE!  So of course I had to check out the blog as adoptive mommy bloggy world has become my new reality  Turns out they are in the same part of the adoption process as we are, how cool!  What's even cooler is the fact that I may have found my Friend for Adoption buddy.  I could not be more excited!!  Knowing someone else that is going through exactly what you are exactly when you are is priceless.  So many of you have been so wonderful with sharing this blog and getting your friends and family on board I can't resist helping my new friend states away.  Please check out the items she is selling to help fund her adoption.  They are adorable and adoption is beautiful!

Please don't stop sharing our blog.  The more people we reach the better our chances of finding the little one that God has created for us.  And don't forget about our rummage fundraiser.  We are still collecting clutter!!  Just email us and we will arrange to come pick up anything you are willing to donate!  God Bless and YAY for tomorrow being Friday!

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:5

Fairest of the Fair

What do adoptive parents do to help the time pass faster during the waiting game?  They get their eat on at the Wisconsin State Fair, obviously.  In case you haven't heard, Wisconsinites take their overeating, artery thickening, diabetic comas very seriously.  At the fair you can find just about anything you could imagine either covered in chocolate or deep fried and sometimes both!  They have deep fried oreos, deep fried snickers on a stick, chocolate covered bacon and a bacon cheeseburger sandwiched in a Krispy Kreme donut just to name a few.  While we didn't try any of those here are a few things we did indulge in ...

(A foot long corn dog)

(A Red Velvet Funnel Cake)

(Chocolate chip cookie dough dipped in Chocolate)

Finished off with a side of Tums naturally.  It was a lot of fun and an awesome date night.  We ran into our favorite family and even managed to take in some non food related sights.  It wouldn't be Wisconsin without the cows right?

And now its back to the grind.  Until this weekend's date at the Zoo!  :)



No Room in the Womb

This post is a heavy heart post because today is a heavy heart kind of day.  The journey to adoption can be different for all families but our journey came via a long road of infertility.  While I don't know that I would change a thing about the journey because it has strengthened our marriage tenfold, the heartbreak is still very real.  Most days now are bright and sunny but once in a while a gray day sneaks into the forecast.  Enter my gray day.  I am beginning to feel like my infertility is Clomid to every female in close proximity.  No seriously.  It seems everyone around me doesn't just get pregnant easily, they get pregnant without trying!  Don't believe me?  I've had two best friends with a combined total of 5 accidental pregnancies and I work in a department of about 12 people and half of them or their spouses are currently expecting. I am super happy for each one of them but sometimes it can be emotionally exhausting.  There is always pregnancy talk in the office and I can't help but notice very little of it is positive.  Why is this?  This happens so often that when I shared our plans to adopt I was actually told how lucky I am because I won't have the nausea, the back pains, the swollen feet and ankles, the weight gain, the food aversion, the sleepless nights, the constant bathroom breaks and the list goes on.  I agree that none of those things sound overly enjoyable however lets turn the tables for a moment.  I will also never see a positive pregnancy test, feel my baby kick inside me, see movement in my belly, get crazy cravings that force my husband to drive for miles in the middle of the night, experience a fetal ultrasound, or know what a little Don and Amanda would look like.  We mourn the loss of the baby we will never create and some days, like today, I cry.  So while I would like very much to remind them what a blessing all those uncomfortable annoyances are I feel it's really not my place and I certainly don't want to become the infertile friend that ruins everyone elses fertility.  So I'm sending it off into cyberspace.  To all the moms, expectant moms or hopeful future moms out there reading this be thankful every day for your fertility.  Children are such an enormous blessing.  I have always known I wanted to be a mother and while God has thrown us a giant curve ball we aren't giving up.  The sadness is still there from time to time but these days I am spending more time concentrating on the blessing that awaits and thanking God for our birth mother's fertility :)  Someday and hopefully soon our dream of becoming parents will come true and I can only imagine how that will feel.

Calling all Clutter

But not in the way you are thinking.  We are organizing our first adoption fund raiser and need your help!  As you know I am a HUGE fan of finding great resale deals and I figure why not promote what I love while bringing our adoption that much closer to a reality.  We are having a Rummage!

To make this event a success we need your unwanted possessions!  Let us help you clean out your unwanted clutter while you help us achieve our dream of becoming first time parents through adoption.  Seems pretty win-win to me!
If you have anything you would like to contribute and live in the Southeastern Wisconsin area please Email us and we will make arrangements to take it off your hands.  We will take anything in resalable condition including but not limited to clothing, furniture, household items etc.  All contributions must be made by Labor Day weekend to make it in the sale.  More details on the sale dates, times and location to come.  If you are one of those highly organized individuals who possess no clutter but still wish to contribute we welcome you to visit the donate page of our blog.  Any and all contributions no matter the size are so very appreciated.  We could not do this without our amazing support team.  God is good and we are very blessed.

L is for Lupron

And Lupron makes me cry.  No really I suddenly find myself sobbing over the Olympics.  Team USA women's gymnastics wins Gold ... crying.  Michael Phelps takes Silver ... crying.  Glance over at my confused husband and find myself thanking God that I have found someone so perfect for me ... more crying.  I would liken it to the worst PMS you have ever experienced while watching ASPCA commercials on repeat.  Get a handle on it woman!

Sorry for the blogging absence but as you can see I've been busy being over emotional.  In all seriousness I am ecstatic to report that surgery was a huge success and we are on to bigger and better things.  Like focusing on finishing our nursery for the little one that awaits :)

Back on topic with the adoption I have more people to thank.  We got another amazing snail mail surprise this week!  A card and check arrived for our adoption fund from people we have never even met!  God is so great and our friends and family are continuously showing us how truly blessed we are.  A family member was telling her grandparents (no relation to my husband or myself) about our adoption journey and they asked to contribute!  We are speechless.  How do you appropriately thank someone who has never met you for sharing in and supporting your dream.  Not sure but I am going to start with a darn cute Thank You card.

"Where there is great Love, There are always Miracles"