He's a little boy

I'm not sure how it happened but suddenly I look at my toddler and he seems less like a toddler and more like a little boy. 

Since birth I feel like he's been met with obstacle after obstacle and I couldn't help but worry about how we would see these manifest as he got older. 

Most recently he was diagnosed with FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder). This helped explain many things to us as his parents. He struggles to regulate his emotions, speech has been slow, transitions are difficult and new environments throw him for a complete loop. 

The gains we have seen in him over the past few months are amazing. Being his mommy makes me so incredibly proud. 

He is talking non stop now. His little voice is pure music to my ears. 

Some of my favorite new words and phrases include:

When we are driving in the car and have to make a harder stop than usual he says

"Mommy you okay? Baby cryin?" 

Any time he asks you a question and you give him an answer his reply is 

"Oh ... Okay!"

Any time he enters our room and the bed isn't made he says 

"Daddy messy!" ;)

And during diaper changes he has been known to hop up and say 

"I dancing naken (naked) mommy" 

I could go on for hours. Hearing him singing all the words to Raffi in the car makes me day every time. I am so incredibly proud of him. 

Just today I dropped him off at speech class and instead of crying and begging me to stay he confidently marched into class, turned around, waved and said "Buh-bye Mommy" 

He is really growing up. 

Tonight we begin equine therapy to help address some of the other FASD components and everyone is super excited. 

"Mommy today I ride horses!!" 

Thank you so much for sharing in this journey with us. We can't wait to share many more successes with all of you! 

Unanswered Prayers

This time of year I find myself thanking God for one very big unanswered prayer. 

On this day 3 years ago I was administering a trigger shot to prepare my body for an IVF egg retrieval the following day. 

On Valentine's Day we woke up before the sun and made the hour plus drive to create beautiful embryos that would never amount to children here on Earth. 

Why in the world would I be thankful for that you ask?

Because that IVF was unsuccessful we now have Lucas, our amazing foster beauty, Joshua and one more on the way. 

I could not have imagined my life to be this blessed. As we piled in the car to take Daddy to work today I turned around to view a full van and had to pinch myself. This is real life. 

If you are feeling lost or betrayed, like God has stopped listening to your heart please don't stop sharing with him. But while you are sharing I encourage you to consider being open to the possibility that his plan for your family might not look exactly like you imagined. More often than not, it's better.