The parts you can't see

Everyone begins the adoption journey with the goal of brining home a child they can call their own. I'm in no way disputing this fact. But I will say with the utmost certainty that our birth mothers brought us so much more than our sons. 

Let's begin with Lucas. If you've been following our story from the beginning you know Lucas came as a complete surprise during one of the darkest times in our lives. To say that I was broken would be an understatement. With the exception of my support group friends I had completely recused myself from society. This included family functions, places where I would be faced with pregnant women and children, anywhere I didn't feel "safe" from everyone else's abundant fertility. I cried nearly every day and wasn't sure if I should even pray anymore as it had been 5 years without a single sign that God had been listening. 

Luke's birth mother saved my life. 

Plain and simple. 

This might seem dramatic to you but I promise this is no exaggeration. 

My heart was once again whole. 

I love her more than she will ever know.  

Next came Joshua. 

But not before another year of devastating heartbreak. After Libby's birth we both agreed there was no way we could ever trust another birth mother. That someone like Luke's birthmom comes around once in a lifetime and he was our once. 

Boy did Joshua's birth mother prove us wrong. She single handedly erased all the damage that had been done and wiped away all the negativity that had been surrounding adoption in our mind. 

Joshua's birth mother made adoption beautiful again. 

She is our family. She showed us that the good people in the world outweigh the bad and that it's okay to believe in the process again and to get excited. 

She has allowed us to be open to the possibility of adopting again and I love her so so so much for that. 

It's funny how the obvious blessing is often just the tip of the iceberg.