Girl Talk - You've been warned

Boys ... you might want to skip this post.  Assuming we have any male followers ;)
This past month has been a complete whirlwind for my broken and completely uncooperative lady parts.  Let's go back to the beginning. 
**Warning ... Over share in Progress**
As many of you know I have run my course with Lupron for the treatment of Endo and now we need to start thinking about other options.
The month began with an ultrasound and blood work to check my hormone levels and uterine lining.
The blood work was great but the ultrasound showed some fluid build up that is likely from retrograde menstruation.  Par for the course with Endo but this time it left an ugly bacterial infection and a fantastic amount of discomfort in its wake.  Treatment = BIG gun antibiotics. 
We are doing a uterine biopsy this month (OUCH) to check my endometrial lining and since my body does not cooperate and do the things a normal woman's body would this involved a mock cycle of hormone injections.  More needles :(
First night of the injections in my tummy (self administered) and it takes me like 3 tries to break the skin and then in my haste to finish I move my finger in a way that pulls the needle out before I manage to inject anything.  Guess its going to be a two sticks kind of night.
I start the antibiotic and the hormone pills and injections and my body has NO idea what is going on lol.  My stomach hates the antibiotic, my emotions hate the hormones and well I could go on and on.
I go back to the doctor to check my lining, hormones and infection and great news ... everything is right on track only now, thanks to the antibiotics I have a yeast infection.  Yup every woman's nightmare. 
Now we are under the gun to get this cleared up before the biopsy.  This time we try gel and oral meds to get this thing cleared up.  Ladies ... never let another doctor prescribe cream!  Gel is a God send trust me.
About 5 days before the transfer we had to start intramuscular progesterone shots to mimic a woman's natural hormone cycle.  My dear husband is amazing when it comes to administering these.  We ice for 5 minutes, inject, rub the spot and switch to heat.  It seemed no matter how amazing he was at administering them my left side hated being the recipient.  We hit a nerve.  WE HIT A NERVE!  I don't think I can accurately put into words how that felt at the time or for days afterward.  Then on the last night we celebrated ... did a happy dance.  Thank GOD we are done.
The next morning (biopsy morning) I wake up to shower and do the usual mirror glance and ... what ... is ... THAT?!?!!  I go running into our room and wake up the hubby.  I have a HUGE welt on my right side where we did the injection and its hard as a rock.  He calms me down saying we are headed to the doctor and she will check it out while we are there.  That's two broken sides now in case you weren't keeping track. 
We get to the office and they take me back into a room and thankfully I asked if maybe my hubby could come for moral support.  Of course they say.  I get all positioned in that modest completely uncompromising position and take a deep breath.
This is going to be a little uncomfortable she says as she gets everything "positioned" for the biopsy.  I am squeezing hubby's hand and he says "That's the best you've got?"  We all chuckle.
Then she says she's going to numb the cervix.  Insert needle and my entire body jumps off the table.  A "hey this is going to hurt a little ... or a WHOLE LOT" would have been appreciated.  I squeeze hubby's hands harder and contemplate biting his fingers when squeezing no longer accurately expressed the level of pain I was experiencing lol.  Then she was done.  But wait ... we repeat this process two more times.  I swear I'm going to pass out. 
She's done numbing and retrieves 3 biopsy samples with only minor cramping.  Phew all done.
I remain hopped up on Advil all day to avoid any further discomfort and was told the welt will go away.
The next morning the welt was just as big only bright red, warm to the touch and itchy itchy ITCHY.
Then two days later ... as if my lady parts haven't been through enough this month ... dear aunt Flow decides to pay a visit.  (Again gentlemen if you are still reading I warned you back at the top).
Normally I am doubled over, rendered completely incapacitated with cramping that not even an Ibuprofen/muscle relaxer/oxycodone/heating pad cocktail can control.  Now I could be taking a huge risk here but so far ... no pain.  NO PAIN!!!  While it's only been two days those are typically the worst so is it possible I'm in the clear??
What is different about this cycle you ask?  The Whole30 is different.  I have eliminated all of the foods that cause inflammation and as a result I am somehow pain free.  It's almost surreal.
And if you've read the list of restrictions on my Whole30 post you are probably thinking wouldn't it be easier to just take all those drugs than not eat all of those delicious foods.
Take a look for yourself ... I think tonight's meal looks pretty delicious.

Open face taco omelet using homemade taco seasoning.  Amazing.
Moral of this long, tmi riddled blog post?  Whole30 = Life Changing  Being a Woman = shitty.
Oh and that lump is finally going away :)
Please say a prayer tonight for all of the infertile women out there having to put their bodies through these same shenanigans.  They are heartbroken, exhausted and tired of knowing "hope" as something you pee on.

Taco Seasoning
1/2 cup chili powder
1/4 cup onion powder
1/8 cup ground cumin
1 tbls. garlic powder
1 tbls. paprika
1 tbls. sea salt
Mix in a mason jar.
This is enough for 2 or maybe even more nights of tacos ... season to taste.