Adoption is Beautiful

As you can imagine there are a lot of things weighing heavily on my heart lately and I've found it difficult to process my thoughts and feelings.  As I was taking a much needed long and hot shower late this evening it occurred to me that this blog was started as my way of sharing my adoption experience with the world.  I have blogged about my most personal struggles, feelings and opinions whether they were right or wrong, they were mine.  They are mine.  So I am about to unapologetically tell you to place the following in your pipe and smoke it ...
Adoption is beautiful always and no matter what.
Why is adoption ALWAYS beautiful?  Because with adoption the child ALWAYS comes first. Period.
If you find yourself responding to an adoption situation by saying "I could never give up a child and be able to live with myself" you are probably right, you couldn't.  You don't have the ability to do this because birth mothers are super heroes.  And if everyone on Earth was a super hero there wouldn't be much "super" about them would there? 
A birth mother has the ability to love their child so completely that they choose to put the child's needs above their own selfish desires.  A birth mother does not abandon their child.  When people tell me they cannot believe Luke's birth mom could just give him up I often find myself retorting with "well she could have aborted him" and leaving it at that.
The phrase "give him up" makes me cringe.  No ... it makes my blood boil.  She did not in any way shape or form give him up.  She carries him with her everywhere she goes.  She thinks about him, worries about him and loves him every day.  She made the conscious and courageous decision to make a better life for him.  To allow for him to have all the opportunities she would not be able to currently provide him.  She did what others could not.  Adoption is not the easy way out ... parenting is.
I'm not sure if everyone knows this but adoptive parents are not Susie and Joe Schmoe off the street.  They have been counseled and their lives have been picked through like a parent checking their child for head lice.  Seriously not a shred of privacy.  We are background checked, finger printed, financially qualified, our homes are inspected ... you name it. 
With adoption the child wins every time.  EVERY TIME!  And open adoption is like winning life's jackpot.  You have multiple people, multiple families even, who love and want the world for you. 
Why is it so hard for people to see the beauty here?? 
I just cannot wrap my mind around it. 
So the next time you have the privilege of encountering a birth mother or an expectant mother considering an adoption plan perhaps you will take a moment and choose your words wisely, deciding to thank her for being a super hero amongst a world or mortals.
And while I have subjected you to this video numerous times before it seems perfectly poignant to my rant this evening so you get to appreciate it once more.

Smoke is over ... I encourage you to extinguish your pipes responsibly.