A pretty big wake

Our failed adoption has left a pretty large wake for being such a tiny ship.
A portion of every day is still spent trying to wrap my head around it.
At first I didn't understand the decision to parent.  I couldn't understand how you could have all these desires and standards of care requirements for a child you haven't even met yet but then once you meet her and fall even more in love with her she suddenly deserves less?  How could more love mean she isn't worthy of a stable home environment that is smoke free and financially sound?  How could more love mean that?!  I just don't know :(
And how did we walk away the bad guys in all this?  That has me the most dumbfounded.
For the last 5 months of her pregnancy we provided an entire maternity wardrobe, a winter jacket, snow boots, groceries when her family was in need, transportation to and from doctor appointments, I held her hand for all blood draws, treated her to lunch on the way home from every visit ... this is just a few but the list is extensive.  We bent over backwards to make sure that her pregnancy was as worry free and enjoyable as possible.
So how then did these same people turn into monsters that tried to buy her baby?  Monsters who refuse to let Luke's birth mother see him despite an open adoption agreement?  How then was she forced to go back on her adoption agreement because we got weird?  How?
After having seen these accusations in writing with my own eyes I have spend hours in tears and just complete shock.
There have been no face to face discussions since our birth mother chose to parent.  We were incredibly respectful of her decision and felt that it would have been unfair for her to see us so upset that day at the hospital.  I was adamant that she not be made to feel guilt by seeing our pain.
I feel like she could not have had better potential adoptive parents if she tried!
So how can all our compassion, caring and generosity mean nothing?
I know I shouldn't let what she is saying get to me but it has ruined the adoption experience.  How do we ever move forward and open ourselves up to a birth mother after this?
We had NO idea the entire five months and we spent a great deal of time together.  We were fooled and used and scammed and it hurts ... really really bad.
A thank you for everything you have done for me and I'm sorry I just couldn't go through with my adoption plan would have meant a completely different outcome.  When asked by others a simple, "They were the best I just became too attached to my daughter" would have meant the world.
And because I am still bound and determined to be one of the good ... we had this special ordered for her just moments after Libby was born (yes she kept the name we chose for our daughter).  These are Libby's actual footprints as we thought it would be an excellent way for her to always keep Libby close to her heart.

It arrived about a week after Libby was born and I wrote a very nice note and mailed it to them.
Not a word ... no thank you ... no nothing.
I'm at a loss.  Struggling to see that there are more good people in this world than bad.

And as for Luke's adoption ... I exchanged emails with his birth mother this past week and she is involved at a level that she feels comfortable. She has dictated the level of openness from day one and that has not changed.